Family Baby Shower

As promised, here are a few photos from our family baby shower on Saturday, thrown by Kerri and Evelyn.

Throughout the shower, everyone wrote funny messages on these diapers so that we'd have something to laugh about during the night when we have to get up to change him. Cute idea! :)

With the Grandmas-to-be!

Me with my mom and my two Grandmas (Great-Grandmas-to-be!).

Since it was also my birthday, there were a few birthday things thrown into the shower. :)

Adam's cousin Randi (who has an 11 week old little boy!), her mom Jill, my aunt Susan and my cousins Hannah and Faith.

And my cute little birthday cakes!

I'm so sad I didn't get a photo with my hostesses. I'm really bad at remembering that! But thanks so much Kerri and Evelyn...the shower was great (even if I was never technically invited :)!

25

I was just going to blow right past this without mentioning it, but I ended up taking pictures that needed to be blogged, so I guess I must just say it.

I turned 25 this weekend.

Boo. Quarter century, half way to 50...all the great thoughts going through my head. But we've had a really great weekend! My birthday tends to fall on or around Memorial Day, which is fun because then we get an extra day off. I took Friday off as well because, let's face it, I'm pregnant and tired and needed a break.

Friday morning, Adam and I headed over to the dog park. It was only 10am but already pretty hot, so we were only out there about 45 minutes. While we were there, a 4-month old Doberman named Duke showed up and he was super cute. I got a photo of him and Axl together, as you'll see.

After they were good and tired, we headed home. My mom took the afternoon off and we went to lunch at Avivo and saw Sex and the City 2 for my birthday. It was a fun afternoon. Here's us in the theater with our tickets.

When I got home, Adam had planned a BBQ with friends at our house for the evening. Unfortunately, there aren't any pictures...but there's a good reason. TWO of my friends announced that they're expecting!! We were sort of distracted and excited about that for most of the evening. After everyone left, Scott played Rock Band with Adam and I until midnight...this is the only photo I have, ignore Adam's mullet, we're cutting it off tonight.

Yesterday, on my actual birthday, we had the family baby shower at Adam's Aunt Evelyn's house. Evelyn and her daughter Kerri were the amazing hostesses, and I will blog more about that when I get the photos from my mom. (Iforgotmycameracanyoubelieveit?) Among many highlights, everyone pitched in and bought us our car seat and stroller travel system!! When I got home, I took a much needed nap, and then Adam and I assembled the stroller and carseat. It's so fun! We're officially ready for the little guy now.

Then we went out to On the Border for a late dinner and rented a movie instead of going to the theater (you know, since the constant needing to pee isn't all that conducive to seeing movies in a theater). I was ready for bed by the time the movie was over. :)

Once again, please ignore the mullet. Though, it's better when he has the hat on. I probably wouldn't go in public with him if it wasn't for the hat.

Today I FINALLY got to go swimming (I've been wanting to swim for weeks) at Lindsey's parents house and it was great. It started raining and storming though, so the fun was cut short. I definitely wore my regular bikini because the maternity swim suit I have is...interesting. The bottoms come clear up to my belly button! The regular swim suit is just so much more comfortable. I wonder what people's opinions are of pregnant ladies letting their bellies hang out at the pool? Thoughts?

We plan on taking the dogs to the dog park again tomorrow and then having a mostly lazy Memorial Day. I hope everyone is having an awesome holiday!

35 Weeks

How far along? 35 weeks...can you believe it?! :)
Baby is the size of a(n): Honeydew, sheet cake
Food cravings/aversions: Pizza, cereal...Dr Pepper (I might be drinking one right now). Nothing new here.
Sleeping: I've been having random cramps and pains when I turn over at night, but the doctor said it sounds like normal strain, so nothing to be worried about. I've been able to sleep in longer lately, which has been nice. Gotta stock up now, while I can!
Milestones: I'm officially tired of being pregnant. I'm out of breath all the time, it's hard to walk and bend over. I'm feeling pressure "down there" that's not all that pleasant. Even maternity clothes are starting to be too small. And it's really hard to find a comfortable position to sit in. I've had a couple of rough mornings where I feel like I might faint (not sure what that's about). BUT I will endure this for as long as my little man needs me to! Oh AND after the wedding this weekend, my feet hurt for THREE DAYS. What a difference a week makes...after last week's wedding I was fine the next morning and I even wore the same shoes.
Weird things I read online: He won't be getting much longer from here on out, he'll just be getting fatter. :)
Interesting things that happened this past week/anticdotes: There are lots, so we're gonna do this in list form:
-At my appointment this week, the nurse felt around and said he's head down (yay!).
-I didn't gain any weight the past two weeks. That's a weird feeling...
-My blood pressure was a lot higher than normal. So I'm going back in one week instead of two for my next appointment so they can keep an eye on that.
-Once again, my belly was measuring ahead, so we get to have a sonogram on Tuesday to see just how big of a boy we have on our hands! I'm so excited for this!
-We took a tour of the BirthCare Center and Birth Rooms at Wesley on Tuesday evening. I think we've made the decision to deliver at the BirthCare Center if all goes as planned, just for the simple fact that you get to stay in the same room the whole time you're there.

Things That Make My Life Interesting

This evening, I was playing RockBand in our basement and I was in between songs. I had the drumsticks hanging loosely in one hand and was absentmindedly examining my fingernails on the other hand. There wass suddenly a tug on my drumsticks and I look down. Axl has them in his mouth and is gently trying to take them from me. He wants to be a drummer, just like his mama. :)

Memories {One Year Later}

I just got an email from my mom, and in it, she said that the moment I called her to tell her we'd lost the baby is frozen in time for her. It made me think about how I have several memories from that day that I will never forget as well.

-It was Memorial Day...we actually lost the baby during the night before, we were in the ER til after 1 am.

-I remember the contractions I had for two hours before we finally went to the ER.

-I remember the sonogram we had in the ER. The sono tech didn't say anything, but I could tell from what I saw on the screen that the baby wasn't there.

-I remember sitting in hospital bed in the ER, waiting for what seemed like forever for the doctor to come officially tell us we'd lost the baby, and I thought I was over the shock. I stared at the floral wallpaper thinking "I can get through this, it happens to people all the time."

-Adam was so quiet, and I kept trying to figure out what he could possibly be feeling and thinking. We just couldn't talk.

-I remember waking up the next day...it all came flooding back, and I collapsed on the floor of our bedroom. It just seemed like it had to be a bad dream.

-I remember posting on this blog and facebook that we'd lost the baby and hoping most people would find out that way so I didn't have to tell them.

-Adam was home since it was a holiday and I told him that I couldn't just stay at home and think about it, so we drove out to Lake Afton with our dogs. I sat on a blanket in the sun with my puppies while Adam flew some of his RC planes.

-It was while sitting there at the lake that I called my mom. I figured she knew already, but could tell by the tone of her voice when she answered that she didn't. 

-After the lake, we still needed to be doing something, so we went to the theater and saw Angels & Demons. It was a good 2-hour distraction.

-I remember the outpouring of love and condolences that we received from family and friends. Flowers, cards, emails, notes...it was really amazing.

Today hasn't been so bad. I've been busy, and I had a doctor's appointment this morning where I found out we get to have a sonogram on Tuesday. I've gotten several texts, emails, cards, and messages from you all and I appreciate them so much. It makes such a difference to have a support system to lean on through the hard times, and I'm so grateful for all of you.

One Year

One year ago tomorrow, we lost our little baby.

Going through the miscarriage and then surviving life afterwards has been one of the defining experiences of my life. I took the whole thing very, very hard.

I feel like miscarriages affect people differently...some people see it as a common thing that happens and not that big of a deal.

To me...my baby had passed away.

It didn't just feel that way. It was, it is that way.

This little life that I'd learned to love above my own, this helpless little baby of mine had died before I ever had the chance to show her that love.

It's still very, very hard. Hard to think about. Hard to deal with. Hard to know what to say in memory of that little life. Whenever I think of her, I keep going back to the line from that song I blogged about here:

"I will carry you, while your heart beats here....
I will carry you, all my life.
I will praise the One who's chosen me to carry you."

 

I will never "get over" our loss, and I'm so looking forward to the day that I will get to meet that little baby in heaven. I will always wonder what she looked like, what her personality would've been, what kind of life she would've had. All she'll ever know is Heaven, and that's an amazing thing to take comfort in.

My devotional today was about waiting for God's timing. He doesn't let us in on his timing beforehand because, most likely, we wouldn't be able to deal with that knowledge. I know God had His hand in this...His perfect plan.

But I will always grieve our loss...May 25th will always be a hard day. Even so, I feel so blessed for everything we've been given. And I feel so, so blessed to know that I will one day get to meet our first little baby in Heaven!

34 Weeks

How far along? 34 weeks
Baby is the size of a(n): Honeydew, American Girl doll :)
Food cravings/aversions: Captain Crunch cereal (but I buy the cheap brand)
Sleeping: Turning over is difficult and painful but necessary. I never thought I would describe sleeping as difficult!
Milestones: I had to take off my wedding ring last night. And it hurt really bad to get it off. I put a different, larger ring on that finger because I just can't go naked! And my wedding ring is on the necklace I always wear now.
Weird things I read online: The baby now rests on my uterus and isn't floating anymore (I'd think that would've happened long ago...), and his fingernails are past his fingertips now so he can scratch himself.
Interesting things that happened this past week/anticdotes: I got a pre-natal massage...wonderful (thanks and Merry Christmas Rachael!), and I decided my work schedule for after the baby's here (see photo blog).