Small Group

Every Friday night, we get together with our small group people. Tonight we had an especially good talk about 1 John, and I'm so thankful for our friends who we can be real with. We talked a lot about how God uses bad circumstances to orchestrate our lives for the greater good. I know that it usually seems that in the end, God used our bad experiences to better our lives, and I'm sure this whole thing will end up that way. It's just difficult when you can't see the big picture yet. I'm not to that point where I can look back on things and see why they happened the way they did.

One of the guys talked about the loss of his dad last summer and how, while it was horrible to go through, there were many things working together the weekend it happened that enabled all the family to be together during that rough time. He also talked about how people would tell him that it would take time to get past it. And while time does make things a little easier, you'll never get "past" it.

It was really good to know that someone else is going through the same things I am. He even made mention that in the healing process you have to "learn to exist again" without the person you lost. I've had that exact feeling so many times. Feeling this way is new to me. I know God says He'll never give us more than we can bear, but at times, losing our baby has felt like more than I can handle. How does one exist after such a tragic loss? Learning to live with this constant weight on my shoulders is hard.

I guess more than anything, I just felt relief (I guess that's the right word?) that someone who'd gone through a completely different situation was having so many of the same feelings that I am. Maybe it was just a reassurance that I'm not crazy!! :) His loss was a year ago, and it's still hard, but he's learned to exist with life being this way, instead of how it was. Our worlds will never be the same.

Here are a couple photos of our awesome small group friends! The wives:

Left to right: Risa, Audra, Melinda, me, Tiffany, Val.

The hubbys:

Top L to R: Adam, Luis (apparently they didn't get the memo this was supposed to be a nice picture)

Bottom L to R: Aaron, Justin, Ryan M., Ryan H.

10 points to the first person that can correctly match all the wives to their husbands! :)