It's a...!!!

In case you can't understand him, Sutton says "I have a special surprise for you. It's a...!!!" (The rest is pretty clear.)

Goodbye Grandpa Rollie

For 28 years, I was blessed to have all four of my grandparents. Last night, we had to say goodbye to my Grandpa Rollie. While it's sad to see him go, and terribly hard to see my Grandma Netta without her husband who she's been with for 70 years, we know he's rejoicing with the angels, seeing his son Rod again, and meeting Jesus face to face.

Goodbye Grandpa! We love you!

 Grandpa Rollie, Grandma Netta, and Sutton in 2010.

18 Weeks {Baby #2}

Wow...this post should've been up on Wednesday but it's been a crazy week! I had to take my belly picture myself on a timer and Sutton really wanted to join in.

How far along? 18 weeks

Weight gain: 13 pounds

Baby is the size of a(n): Sweet potato...our sonogram this week said Baby weighed 7 ounces

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing has sounded good lately other than ice cream because that's the only thing that doesn't give me heartburn/acid reflux. I have been eating more veggies (raw, still can't stand cooked) and fruit.

Sleeping: The acid reflux and more frequent nausea (yes, again) has been making sleep a bit more difficult. But when I do sleep, I sleep hard, which is nice.

Milestones: So much movement. I love it, though it still feels a little funky. During our sonogram on Wednesday, we found out that the baby is healthy! Praise God! That was something I've been worrying about since we decided to have a second baby...that he or she would be healthy. We also now know the gender and will share the news soon, after we've had a chance to tell all of our family.

How I'm Feeling: The nausea is still here, possibly coming back more often. I'd been down to feeling bad once every three days, but now it's pretty much every evening again. Nausea + exhaustion + heartburn = me trying not to be cranky and worthless.

Interesting things that happened this past week/anticdotes: I got food poisoning on Sunday evening, spent the entire night in the bathroom until we finally decided to go in to the ER Monday morning at 5am. Luckily Adam's mom was able to take me so Adam could stay with Sutton and take him to school that morning. They checked Baby's heartbeat, gave me some anti-nausea stuff and a bag of fluids since dehydration was the biggest concern. Big thanks to Adam's parents for picking Sutton up and keeping him all afternoon so I could sleep and try to recover the rest of the day. Ugh! I think this is what made my nausea come back a bit, so maybe after a week or so of recovery, we'll be back to normal!

I Worry.

I don't want to come off as complaining, because that's really not my goal here. I realize how good I have it: a husband who I still want to be around after almost 12 years together, an amazing son who is the smartest and cutest kid I know, a successful business that allows me to work from home, and family and friends who are supportive and loving of us. What a beautiful life this is.

But...in efforts to be real here on this blog, to show that life isn't always picture perfect like it seems...I figured I'd be a little raw today and kinda get some thoughts out. The problem is:

I worry.

Jeremiah 29:11 - "I will bless you with a future filled with hope - a future of success, not of suffering."

I know worrying is a sin. I know it does nothing. And yet...

I worry.

I am ridiculously beyond excited about this new baby, but I am absolutely terrified of having two kids. What if I can't do it? What if I'm so stressed that all I do is keep my head above water but never excel as a mom, never do things "good moms" do? What if Sutton feels neglected when I have to attend to the needs of the new baby and I can't give him all of the attention he's used to?

Aside from just being a mom, there's the whole money thing. My income contributes very significantly to our family. When you work for yourself, there's no such thing as maternity leave or paid leave. I'll just go at least 3 months with no income...how will that affect our family?

After the baby is here, how will my working from home look? We will likely need daycare at least once or twice a week for our new baby, and as any working mom knows, that can definitely be a stressful situation to address, finding someone to trust your baby with. I haven't even begun to tackle this issue.

All of it is fear of the unknown. And all of this worry will accomplish nothing. But still...

I worry.

Philippians 4:6 - "Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God."

That's my prayer. I try to remember when the worries creep in that God is in control of my life. I try to remember that He's in control of everything. Yes, things will be chaotic when the new little bundle arrives, but we will make it through, and we will make it through together. My God is bigger and stronger than any worry I might have.

Now, to repeat that to myself 100 times a day...

17 Weeks {Baby #2}

How far along? 17 weeks

Weight gain: I think 12 pounds. Ugh. Since I'd only gained 6 or 7 pounds by this point last time, it makes me nervous.

Baby is the size of a(n): Onion

Food cravings/aversions: Cereal, chips + dip. Still no veggies or meat, though I'm thinking of venturing back into the kitchen tomorrow to make something in the crockpot. We'll see how that goes.

Sleeping: Lots of vivid dreams, and still lots of turning over. I've been getting acid reflux some when I lay down at night.

Milestones: Feeling lots of movement this week. Monday the baby was moving like crazy while I was working most of the morning and afternoon at my computer. Still such a weird sensation. I've had a couple people tell me that I look pregnant, not fat, and I consider that a milestone.

How I'm Feeling: I had 3 really good days in a row and was pretty excited about it, but then yesterday was pretty bad again. I was exhausted and nauseous and had no patience with Sutton. Not a good mom day. Today was good again. The wedding I shot this weekend really took a toll on me...I had to stay up until 10:15p (whoa) and was so tired, my belly ached, and my legs hurt for the entire next day. Thinking of starting to wear my belly brace to weddings already.

Interesting things that happened this past week/anticdotes: Well...we find out in ONE WEEK if this baby is of the boy or girl variety. That's pretty interesting. Also, Adam and I realized that while we've done this once before, we've not only forgotten everything about pregnancy but also everything about how to care for a newborn. It'll be an adventure.

August

Now that we're half-way through September (what?!), let's take a look back at August happenings.

We went out for a little lake afternoon with some friends towards the beginning of August before Adam had to go back to work.

Sutton modeling his new bed. I have before photos of his new room...I keep thinking there's more I want to do to it before I take the after photos, but maybe I should just do it to get it done. :)

One Friday we kept our friends' little boy Hunter for the day. Sutton really liked having another little person around. Hunter loved Adam but wasn't too sure about me.

He woke up from his nap before Sutton did that day, so we hung out on the front porch while we waited for Sutton to get up.

Eating a healthy snack willingly...which I feel is rare these days.

Hanging out with Daddy on his last day before going back to work for the school year.

He got in this jumper all by himself and told me he was a baby.

Posing for a couple photos on the porch before heading out to meet-your-teacher night at his preschool.

Diesel's a pansy when it comes to thunder, so we bought him a Thunder Shirt and had to test it out.

I posted this for a Throwback Thursday...it was hanging downtown at the studio when I ran GDP there. Don't really have a place for it here at my house... ;)

After several years of complaining, I finally got a new bedspread! Adam complained about our old one because he hated duvets. I didn't like it cause of the color. Grey is good...now I need to figure out what color to paint our bedroom walls!

It rained a lot at the beginning of August and one day Sutton said "Look! I made a happy face!" and I looked, and he kinda did.

We went to help Daddy at his school on his lunch break one Friday. We were so helpful.

Breakfast conversation.

Like I said, we had a lot of rain/storms in early August. Here, Sutton was pretending that Diesel was a storm and all these people were getting stuck in the storm.

We went to Adam's grandpa's 97th birthday party and these were his John Deere cupcakes made by our cousin Elizabeth.

We took Sutton to see Planes, his first movie at the real theater. He was so excited and he loved the movie. He did great too...watched the whole thing and just wanted to sit on my lap towards the end.

We got snacks and he had to put his airplane in the cupholder.

The river near our house was flooded for awhile with all the rain. Out on a walk one day, we found where the sidewalk ended.

Diesel and I were chilling on the couch one evening and he wanted to try to feel the baby. ;)

Meanwhile, Adam and Sutton were chasing each other around the living room in hats.

Just some proof that Adam and Sutton share some wavelength that I'm not in on.

For awhile, Sutton was really into getting out his toy guitar and singing to us. Usually Puff the Magic Dragon. Sometimes ABCs or Twinkle Star.

A clean little baby cuddling in my bed after a bath.

Sutton is a very good cuddler in case you didn't know. Since I've been sick so much, I got lots of cuddles. I decided my face wasn't suitable for this photo, but still wanted to capture the moment.

Daddy decided Sutton should get in his belly since Mommy has a baby in her belly.

They have their moments where they love each other...

Discussing something very important, I'm sure.

Diesel posing for me. He looks like he's frothing, but he'd just gotten a drink of water.

Putting on another show and singing me more songs.

In mid-August I got to meet my friend Natalie's baby. They live up in Michigan and were down here for a visit. He slept while it was my turn to hold him :)

How far we've come from our college days.

Grandma and Papa came and stole Sutton away to the park one afternoon. Looks like they had fun.

More cuddling with a sick Mommy.

One day, Sutton decided he wanted to take my picture during lunch. Not bad.

That night, he wanted to take my picture again while we were doing his Back-to-School photo session. I was modeling some sweet nerd glasses, but he decided that wasn't important.

After we took his Back-to-School photos, he and Jocelyn hung out and watched the disc golfers and their dogs.

We found the BEST shirt at Target. Blue AND Planes!

Ramen...one of the few things I could stomach eating at this point.

And sweet potato fries Adam got for me one night. Thanks, husband.

Oh, look. More food. These are my love language.

I finally ordered a book of photos from Sutton's second year. Yes, I'm a photographer and have access to amazing album companies...but who can resist a $10 Shutterfly deal?

Sutton's first homework that he LOVED doing with me.

We went to the park one night while Daddy was running, and these two little kids got on the opposite end of a teeter-totter Sutton was on. After that, they were all best buddies and ran around the park together. It was cute to see him playing WITH other kids.

A night in bed with two of my faves.

Just some floor-dancing.

We were at a cookout with some friends and I ended up taking Shae to the ER because her little guy Hunter (from earlier) scratched her cornea. Ouch.

Rediscovered some awesome stretchy sweats that are perfect for pregnancy.

Terrible picture of me (just out of the shower), but Sutton really wanted to take one.

He gets so excited when he talks about airplanes.

Cuddling with Daddy after he got home from work one evening.

We were given a ton of cucumbers from different people, so I made cucumber muffins and two batches of gunnie gumpers (vinegar cucumbers). Both delicious.

Adam did baking soda + vinegar experiments with his class one day so he brought the leftovers home to entertain Sutton.

Making funny faces in my mirror.

Picnic and play time at the park with friends from school.

Helping Grandma rub Papa's back.

Some amazing clients of mine brought these to our shoot for me to take home. SO. GOOD.

We went to the zoo with Tara and Kohen and saw this baby chimp hanging from the window. Sutton has a stuffed monkey he sleeps with and that night, he made his monkey hang from his bed. :)

The Saturday of Labor Day weekend, we had a cookout with some friends out at Scott's house. It was hot. HOT. Sutton was telling me this was his spider.

Playing with Hunter and Shae.

Scott brought out some drums for Sutton to try.

Adam and Sutton camped out there that night, but I'm a pregnant pansy and came home and drank grape juice out of a goblet in a bubble bath. :)