Happy New Year

I've never been so eager to leave a year behind.

But I do have to admit that it's been a good year in some ways:
-my brother married his wonderful wife
-my business was booming
-because of our loss, several of my friendships became deeper
-our baby was created!!

Speaking of which...I'm fat. Just kidding, I really do love my belly. I try to stick it out more than necessary sometimes. Shh..that's a secret. :) Here's a new belly photo, taken yesterday. We're 14 weeks along now! Time is definitely going faster now that we're out of the first trimester. I finally remembered to have Adam take this one, and I even wore the same shirt as the last photo for a little consistency.

As far as Adam's dad...we're still waiting on doctor's opinions and waiting to see what the hole in his heart is doing. They did some breathing treatments today because he was having a hard time breathing, probably just because he's been horizontal for several days now, and stuff has just settled in his lungs. We've been spending a lot of time at the hospital, but it's been good to be with family. Both of Adam's half-sisters and one of our nieces drove in from Ohio and Alabama to be with Ed, and it was great to spend time with them. We had lunch at Panera today before they headed back home.

There's been an outpouring of generosity for the family, and we appreciate it so much. Food, money, time, and most of all prayer...we are so thankful for our awesome support system.

I hope everyone stays safe and WARM tonight...have a great 2010!

Still Praying...

Right now, we're still praying for a miracle.

The heart sonogram they did on Ed today showed that the hole is inside his heart, between two ventricles. The surgery that they would need to do is very very risky since there's so much scar tissue in his heart from previous surgeries, so they are trying to look at other options.

The other option would only be possible if the hole shrinks on its own. They've done/are doing sonograms daily to see if it's shrinking, and I believe they're going to wait til Monday to make a decision.

Even if the hole shrinks and he's able to go home, his lifestyle is going to have to completely change from being very active to taking it slow. Which would be so hard for Ed. But any rise in his blood pressure could complicate things.

To get back to his normal active life, patching the hole with surgery would be the best bet. But the odds with the surgery aren't great.

So we're praying for a miracle. Please pray with us.

Prayer

Adam's dad is in the hospital after a heart attack this morning. They put in a stint and a balloon right after he arrived at the hospital, but after further testing, they've found that he needs open heart surgery to fix a hole that was created by the heart attack. He had a similar surgery several years ago, and the recovery was excruciating.

They have to wait a few days to do the surgery so that he can heal from the procedure this morning. He will have lots of scar tissue around his heart that will make the surgery more difficult.

Please pray for Ed. Pray for pain relief, for peace for him and our family, and for healing. I know God's hand is in all of this and He will get the glory regardless of what happens.


It's hard to see Ed like this, and hard to see Adam hurting so much for his dad. We have lots of family around to pray and encourage, and that's a blessing. I will update here as soon as I know more.

Adam's sister Jessica is a writer and she described Ed perfectly in this touching post on her blog.

Thanks for praying.

2nd Trimester

It's official as of today, we're in the 2nd trimester. I'm so excited about this! It's a huge milestone to make it past, especially after you've experienced a miscarriage. I know the worrying will never truly stop, but it's a relief to be "out of the woods" of the 1st trimester.

I also listened to the heartbeat this morning, and it's beating strong in the 160s. Can't wait for my next appointment on the 5th! Hopefully at that time, we'll schedule a date to find out the sex of the baby, as we should be hitting the 18-20 week mark around the end of January/early February. I can't wait to pick out paint colors for the nursery!

My dad made me a cradle for my American Girl doll (I had Samantha) when I was little, and he made it big enough that I could use it for my real baby one day. We have it sitting, waiting in the nursery. On Christmas, he also showed me that he's making a rocking "horse" but instead of a horse, it's a motorcycle! I love it, it's SO my dad. I think the plan is to keep it at their house for the baby to play with when he or she visits Grandma and Grandpa.

And Adam's dad told us on Christmas that he's making our crib and changing table! He has plans and everything. Another HUGE baby item that we needed and that will be so much more special since it will be made by Grandpa Ed. I can't wait for him to get started...I think when we start to get the baby's things, it will make it so much more real.

I'll be posting photos from Christmas, though they were taken on Adam's new camera, which I haven't quite figured out yet. Stay tuned!

Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!

Christmas Songs

So I know there are a lot of you out there who read my blog and don't comment. I don't blame you, I don't comment on other people's blogs very often either. But for those of you who do, YOU'RE AWESOME. I thought we'd have an interactive blog post today and see how it goes. It may be the last of it's kind if it totally fails. :)

What's your favorite Christmas song?

Mine has always been O Holy Night...I think because it was always my mom's favorite. It's just so beautiful. My guilty pleasure favorite is Baby, It's Cold Outside. You know, the duet one? Lindsey and I tried to sing the different parts one day in the car, but it didn't go well. It'd be fun to learn the whole thing. There's a version that Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson did, and I'm not afraid to admit that's my favorite one. We played it on repeat at the studio last year until everyone but me couldn't take it anymore.

So...what's yours?

Socks

This is so dumb, but I think it's important to take joy in the little things in life.

You know the feeling...when you're wearing a pair of long-ish socks and they've been crumpled down around your ankle, and then you pull them up to where they should be?

I love that feeling. :)

Details

I thought I'd share a few details of our journey the past couple months since you all have read about what we went through, including the surgery and all that, and since you've been praying for us. Which I can't thank you enough for. Thanks.

After the surgery in July, we were waiting for me to have a regular cycle on my own. That didn't happen. So the doctor put me on meds to jumpstart a cycle. He said we were free to get pregnant that cycle, but he wasn't going to put me on Clomid or Femara (the drugs that helped us get pregnant last time) until I had a cycle of my own.

I temped and charted and all that, and I was pretty sure I ovulated on my own (which was a miracle in itself!) so I was really excited to take a pregnancy test. I remember it clearly...it was a Tuesday night and I couldn't wait to go to bed so I could wake up the next morning and take the test before Adam went to work. I thought - how cool would it be to, after all this, get pregnant on our own without any help?

Well...I woke up at 2 am Wednesday morning to use the bathroom, and...I'd started my period.

That was a hard day.

But the upside was that since I'd started a cycle on my own, I knew we could start taking Femara. And I did. And we got pregnant in the first month! Woohoo!

I tested on October 24, which was 3 days before I should've. I didn't expect a positive. I didn't feel pregnant. I took the test on a whim because I was so tired of waiting. I'd been storing up my pee all day (sorry if that's TMI), and I'd been gone, so when I got home, Adam was out in the shop.

I went in the bathroom, and took a pink dye test. The line showed up super dark. This early?! That was my first thought. I wasn't supposed to test til Tuesday, and it was Saturday.

I FREAKED out.

I ran out to the shop, threw open the door and said, "I'm pregnant."

Adam's response? "No, you're not..." but a smile crept across his face.

"I'm gonna go take another test." I slammed the door.

I went inside and took a digital test. Almost immediately it showed up: Pregnant.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I ran back out to the shop with my two tests as evidence. As I held them out to show Adam, my hand was shaking. He held me as I cried.

Best. Moment. Ever.

That night we went out to celebrate. We saw the movie Where the Wild Things Are at the Old Town Warren. I was distracted.

Since then, we've had 4 sonograms. One at 6 weeks, where we saw a tiny blob and heard the heartbeat - 113bpm, it must've just started beating.

At 7 weeks, I began spotting. I was terrified. This is how everything started last time. When we lost the baby. My friend Rachael from KC was staying with me, and after 4 days of spotting, I finally couldn't take it, so I called my doctor. Rachael and I went in for a sonogram one morning when I was about 7 weeks 4 days. I saw the heartbeat immediately, and was SO relieved. 167 bpm. Adam called in the middle of the sono and Rachael talked to him. She said he sounded like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders.

We went back a week later for a regularly scheduled sono (they did more of them early on because of my history). Heartbeat was 167bpm again. And we saw a defined head, and little nubs for the arms and legs. Adam started calling the baby Nubs.

That was our last appointment with the specialist. I got a new OB (thanks Ginger!) since the miscarriage hadn't been handled appropriately with my last OB. My first appointment was on December 8th, my due date with my first baby. Bittersweet. Another strange coincidence...on December 8th, I was 10.5 weeks along with this baby, which is exactly how far along I'd been when we lost the first one. At this appointment, I got a surprise FREE sono from the amazing Dr. Kauffman, and while it was sad that I was alone at the appointment, it was AMAZING. The heartbeat was steady and strong at 176bpm, and the baby was moving everywhere. The arms and legs were much more than nubs, and we got a photo of a perfect footprint.

It made my year. And that's saying something. :)

Since then, I've bought an at-home doppler so I can hear the baby's heartbeat whenever I want. It was 168bpm tonight and beautiful sounding.

I know this was long, but I thought I'd give you the full account while I was at it. After all, that's what this blog was intended for in the first place. I'm so thankful to be able to use it again for that purpose!