I didn't really realize it til he was gone, but Axl played a part in pretty much everything I do around here. It makes it hard to be at home because everywhere I turn, the reminders of his absence are just staring me in the face.
Axl was supposed to be Adam's dog.
That's not how things turned out.
Adam came home from student teaching one day and told me that we needed to get a Doberman. I thought he was crazy. Dobermans are vicious and mean. Adam typically gets his way, so about a month after we were married, we went to a breeder to pick out our pup.
Out of all the puppies, I chose Axl. I chose him because whenever I picked him up, he would put his little paws on either side of my neck like he was giving me a hug.
Baby Axl.
Axl screamed the whole way home. We even got stopped by a train and he just wouldn't stop making that awful noise.
"Adam's dog" became my shadow. He followed me everywhere I went and was always curious about what I was doing. Diesel has always been a bit more independent than Axl was, and that was actually preferable at times. Imagine a Doberman always under your feet. Not the most ideal. But now I miss it.
I thought I'd write out some of the ways I keep remembering him, the things about my daily life that remind me of Axl, and things I no longer have to worry about doing now that my shadow is gone.
Chewing on a rawhide.
-Axl was the perfect dumpster-diving height. His long nose was made to root through a trash can. Now when I throw food away, I don't have to cover it up with paper or other things to keep him from digging through the trash.
-We hardly ever have to refill the dog's water bowl. At meal times, I only have to measure out food for one dog.
-When I wash the sheets on our bed, I used to have to cover the bed with a blanket while the sheets were in the washer because I didn't want Axl getting our mattress all dirty (and him NOT laying on the bed wasn't an option). I don't have to worry about that anymore.
His favorite spot in our bed - Adam's side.
-He used to howl during the short time between when he heard our car pull in the driveway and before we could get the front door unlocked, he just couldn't hardly stand the wait for us to get inside. I miss that howl.
-Every morning when Adam would get out of bed to get ready for work, Axl would take his place in bed, next to me, under the covers, almost instantly. We would spoon. I miss the spooning with my giant dog. That side of the bed just remains empty now.
-When he would hear someone at the door, there was always a scramble of legs and paws on the hardwood floor while he tried to get some traction as he ran to see who it was. It was a loud and funny sound.
-Whenever we'd be coming up the stairs from the basement, he would always have to beat us to the top, and I'd always run my hand along his back as he passed me because he was the perfect petting height without having to bend over.
Our 2009 Christmas card photo.
-Diesel's obsessed with playing fetch inside the house with his toys. It gets old real fast. Axl was really good at butting in, stealing Diesel's toy, and taking it somewhere to chew on it, which meant that we (thankfully) never had to play fetch with Diesel for long. There's no one here to relieve me of that constant game now.
-Axl was afraid of trash bags. So any time I'd replace the trash bag in our kitchen or the trash bag in the diaper pail, he'd always make a beeline for our bedroom to hide out.
-Our bathroom is long and skinny, and he never mastered "reverse" mode. This made for some interesting/hilarious moments since he was too big to turn around in the skinny bathroom.
-When we would be downstairs watching TV, sometimes Axl would be slow to make it down to join us (the warmth and comfort of our bed was apparently better than human company). We'd hear a thud from upstairs as he'd jump down from our bed upstairs and finally decide to come hang out with us. Then the clip, clip, clip of his nails as he walked across our hardwood floor to the stairs.
What a charmed life he had. :)
-Axl LOVED having his ears rubbed. He'd groan in delight because he just couldn't handle it. We've discovered that Sutton loves having his ears rubbed too (minus the groaning). Every time I rub Sutton's ears, I always think about how that was something that was totally Axl. He would even just lay there sometimes while Diesel would lick inside his ears...even that would make him groan, which was so funny.
-Axl and Diesel were best friends. They were an odd couple, but they did most everything together. They had their quarrels and fought like an old married couple, but I'm so sad for Diesel now that his friend and brother is gone. He's handling it pretty well, but he's being clingier than normal, so I know he's feeling it.
-Axl, being the shadow that he was, just had to be a part of everything. He always had to smell everything we brought home. He had to stand watch any time the front door was open. He hung out in the kitchen when we cooked dinner. He sniffed our mail. He was everywhere.
Making sure this package was suitable to be opened.
Helping to hand out Halloween candy.
-He really had to check out Sutton when we brought him home from the hospital. That thing was staying around...he had to make sure it was okay.
-I talk with my hands. Axl always loved that because it meant moving shadows for him to chase.
"AHHHHHHHH!!! A LIGHT!!!!!"
-Axl loooooved watching shows that had squeaky noises. Bolt was his favorite movie. Anytime a squeak or noise would be on the TV, he'd whip around, look at the screen, and cock his head with his ears up. If it was on-going, he'd go up to the TV and nudge the speakers with his nose.
-He always helped with laundry. I now have a dog-free bed to fold laundry on, which isn't nearly as fun.
-I'm gonna miss this thing that he used to do where he'd bury his face under his paw. Sometimes he'd look up at us out of the corner of his eye without moving his head as if saying "Leave. Me. Alone."
-He wasn't super fond of Sutton, but I'm sure they would've become buds and Axl would've been his protector. It's hard to think that'll never happen.
-Axl was a huge fan of naps. Our nap times are a little more lonely now. Though Sutton makes a darn good replacement.
Life with Axl was fun, sometimes annoying, and always hilarious. We'll love and miss our big dopey Axl always.
No comments:
Post a Comment