Weren't we just here?
Weren't we supposed to be done with that struggle?
I also was talking with Rachael about her cousin who was in pre-term labor at 28 weeks. She's doing good, and will hopefully carry the baby for another month at least, but she's been put on bedrest. What if that happens to me? What if we get pregnant now, and then I'm put on bed rest in my last trimester, when I have a bunch of weddings to shoot? It's not an option to not do the weddings. It's not an option to not be on bedrest. I guess that's one of those "we'll cross that bridge when it comes" things, but I have a million thoughts like that going through my head all the time. Once again, it brings me back to the fact that our baby being due in December would've been so perfect.
Sigh.
As far as we in our human finite minds know, it would have been perfect. Apparently not completely perfect, though... since that isn't the case. As much as the "what ifs" and "whys" are overwhelming at times, I am excited because no matter what time frame God has for you, it will be perfect. Maybe not a great analogy, but... I think back at times to Joe's & my history & say "dang it - we could have gotten married 2-3 years earlier & avoided a LOT of hurt & heartache. Then God gently reminds me that His ways are not mine. I don't know why things happened the way they did (for you or me), but I am choosing to Praise God in the midst...in His sovereignty He allowed it, so He must know what He's doing. :) Your next little baby will be perfect. And perfectly on time. :)
ReplyDeleteGina- Ginger really said it best. It isn't the easiest thing to hear, but it is the truth. I look over my life and have asked the same things (including WHY did it take 15 months for me to get pregnant?!?!) and now I know God wanted us to have THIS perfect little baby any sooner and she wouldn't be here, God also wanted me to learn a long road through my education, the degree doesn't matter but the stuff I learned on that journey has changed me!
ReplyDeleteStress can make getting pregnant tougher, so relax don't worry about the little things they always have a way of working themselves out. You are loved and prayed for by so many!
God has created a perfect plan for you and Adam's life!
You both make good points. And I know what you said is true. But to be honest...I feel like you've both been through your struggles and have come out on the other side, so you're at a point where it's easier to look back and see the big picture. I haven't had my happy ending yet. I know there will be a time where I will understand. But its not here yet. And it's just so overwhemingly hard for my heart to bear.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is 100% ok Gina! You are absolutely right, because Ginger and I both bore a TON of heartache going through our situations. (I don't want to put words in Ginger's mouth, but we were besties and roomies during a lot of her and Joe's love story).
ReplyDeleteI hesitate to comment sometimes b/c I know that your feelings are valid and you are allowed to voice them and work through them, I just want to be encouraging to you when you feel overwhelmed and sad.
Ditto what Chele said. Gina, I'm in no way downplaying your feelings, I apologize if it seemed that way. I just wanted to encourage you - there is an "other side". :) and Chele, you're right, you can put those words in my mouth. :)
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